Walking bewildered

no capacity to learn todayI hope that you can read the note in the image here. It’s from a student to his lecturer explaining that he doesn’t have the capacity to learn today and has gone home – so here’s a doughnut (USA version: donut #sloppyspelling)

If I had to rewrite this note from me I’d say ‘Dear world, it has come to our attention that we don’t have the capacity to filter all the stuff in our brains today. Here’s a Roast Chicken instead’

I look at the date today, 10th May 2015 and I can’t believe that it’s only been a calendar month since I received the letter telling me that my routine mammogram had picked up an area of concern. A month. Such a short space of time and feels like a lifetime too.

I think that we have moved into a shocked stage where the impact of the last month and it’s physical, medical and emotional events are to some extent catching up with us. You remember that game you played as a child (and possibly still might do when you have a broom handle, a BBQ on the go, lager and someone egging you on) where you spun round and round and then tried to stand still and the world looked a bit wonky, and then you fell over? That’s us.

It’s showing itself in different ways; not being able to concentrate, easily distracted, forgetting things (however I’m proud to say that with three birthdays to remember this weekend including my Dad and nephew, no one is without a suitable card and pressie) and also finding it difficult to make decisions and slightly short in the tolerance stakes (Claudia Winkleman’s fringe for example always gets on my very last nerve).

Searching the net, Steve asked me what we were doing on the weekend of 8th – 10th May, just now, on the 10th May. And that’s just one example of how it is in this house right now. Kind of walking bewildered. I guess it’s a type of delayed reaction to recent events and now that things have calmed down temporarily, the brain in all its wisdom needs to repair a little and its doing that by revisiting everything that’s been said, read and experienced.

I feel that we’re in the interval of a show, it’s been an interesting and intense first half and now we’re wondering what the second half will bring.

It may be time to buy one of the extortionately priced stupid little ice-creams. Mint choc chip for me……………

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