The dating game aka how things are going with Varian6?

20150307_141312I wasn’t sure what image to select to use for this post and thought that I’d have a browse through some recent pictures to see if anything triggered some inspiration. I didn’t have to go very far before I saw this one and knew that it fitted perfectly.

The reason is because it’s actually a happy picture; Steve is clearly chuffed that he’s alongside this beauty and the sun is shining and it was a lovely weekend with friends. We’d been driving along and noticed a house that had all sorts of structures and art pieces around it and our lady friend here was one of the pieces that amused us all the most.

On closer inspection this morning, two things struck me:

The first is that this is a ‘before’ picture. Before diagnosis, before any of this faffing about and before we had to add in the reality of cancer into our lives. It’s not that we don’t smile now, or cheekily rest our hands on areas that we perhaps shouldn’t in public, but somehow it becomes an omnipresent member of the family. And really we weren’t looking to adopt.

There are funny sides to this however as life should not be lived in a negative spiral. I was talking with Steve this morning about a conversation I had yesterday and his response was ‘I don’t know, you cancer types are all over that sort of stuff aren’t you?’- meaning that something that had needed to be sorted had been. I responded thus – ‘Whereas you well types just tootle along like you have all the time in the world and nothing gets done’ #cancerpower

We do do jokes you know. Us cancer types. Generally we don’t mind and it makes us laugh too. It may be a coping mechanism, a strategy that normalises our current status or a way to help those around us be freer with their words and comments. We know that you sometimes don’t know what to say or how to say something, or that you almost make a joke and then think ‘whoops, I shouldn’t be thinking that let alone saying it out loud’. We get it. Go for it. We don’t bite, mostly. And if we do bite, it’s your fault, you insensitive sod. No question about it.

angle grinder in useThe second thing that made me connect with this image is that fact that the lovely lady- let’s call her Vera, is clearly having some ‘issues’ with the deterioration of her boobage in particular like me, her right. I was also thinking about the process of creating her and that it would have included some high level angle grinding with sparks flying. Just actually how I imagine Radiotherapy would look if you could see it. Somehow, the fact that the actual treatment is painless, that you can’t see or hear anything is quite unnerving. Whilst I wouldn’t want sparks to be flying, it would at least be confirmation that something is happening. I guess I’m searching for something that helps my brain compute that the process is effective. I am sore and finding it somewhat physically uncomfortable but I can see the end.

I’m also doing well on keeping up my 20 day challenge featuring 5 steps to Wellbeing that I talked about recently here 5 steps to Wellbeing

  1. Connect
  2. Be active
  3. Take notice
  4. Keep learning
  5. Give

Today’s highlights have included having a chat with a stranger on my walk this morning about the day’s weather forecast (What else, I am British after all) that led into a longer conversation about the hottest place this elderly gentleman had ever visited. In fact he clearly just wanted to talk to someone as we chatted for a while. Time is a gift, give it.

My other highlight may not actually have been the recipients highlight, but I phoned my friend Caroline early this morning and gave her my rendition of Stevie Wonder’s Happy Birthday and she said she had difficulty working out if it actually was him or me on the phone. That’s the other thing you well types do- indulge us in our fantasy world!

Here’s me singing to Caroline. Happy Birthday C and Happy Birthday OG2 xx (you know who you are!)


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